Icht bin ein Berliner / I Am sterdam / "This is not my lint"

Ok. Our apologies. We truly have been way too busy reading HP, smoking dope, banging hookers, using drugs intravenously, and "sightseeing" to catch up on the ole blog. It was either that or we couldn't find a computer. But we've just read the tons of comments and they are endearing.
So yes we are alive and well, kickin it in Paris. But let us regress to far far back, to that last day in Berlin after Danny posted late at night.
So our last day in Berlin we split up. Charlie Rob and Dave stayed in bed at the hostel reading Harry Potter until 1:30. I couldn't abide by that so I set out. I walked through the Brandenburg Gate, through the length of the Tiergarten, and emerged where a massive church has had half of its dome blown off by war. It was left that way and it makes for sight. Then I took a bus to Schloss Charlottenburg, a "castle", the palacial residence of the Hohenzollerns (ruling dynasty in Prussia for some time). Then I took the bus back to the Kaiser Wilhelm Church (with the blown off top) to meet the guys who had dragged themselves out. I pointed out the person whom I believe to be the most beautiful woman in Germany. They disagreed but woulda gone for it anyway if given the chance.
On our way to lunch we peeked in your typical German sex shop, with three foot fist sized dildos. We were overwhelmed by these dildos. Anyway we had pizza/pasta and they read Harry Potter. At this point I realized that it was absurd for me to hold out on reading this excellent book cause it was clearly something big, so I borrowed David's copy when he finished it in less than 15 hours. Damn, kid. We walked back through the Tiergarten taking frequent reading stops (every bench) and proceeded to Hauptbahnhof to buy our train tickets for the next day. Then we had a leisurely streetside dinner, andwent to the Reichstag. We didn't burn it down but instead jumped at the opportunity to wait in line for like an hour. At this point we were thinking about everything in terms of reading (even Rob). In side the Reichstag we climbed this vast glass dome that is actually right over the assembly room for the German Parliament, the idea being that the people keep watch down on the government. Twas very, very impressive and informative.
Next stop, AMDAM! We got off the train and bought a fat bag of good but not outstanding chronic. Just kidding. We took the tram way down to our hostel, the Stayokay in Vondelpark. This was rather removed from the center of the city, but at least it wasn't Buttfuck so we got used to it with its quiet alley and sweet aromas. Just kidding. Anyway that night we had dinner and walked around to get our bearings. Amsterdam is a very quaint and picturesque town, with many canals and bridges and boats parked quayside. There are also many many bikers. Each sidewalk has its own bike lane and if you make the presumtuous mistake of walking down you will get rung at. You might even get a dirty look. Trams also abound here. And the preffered architectural style is brown brick. All in all its a very pretty place. Until we got lost and were approached by an old man who thouht we needed directions to the gay area. We did not need these directions or his foul presence. Some of us fled (Robbie was convinced the man was trying to hit on him and still tries to argue this case). He (the old bum) got really pissed at us and started ranting about how we were lying about some dumb shit. I realized I had forgotten my long and thin pocketkife at the hostel so I also fled. Anyway, we wanted to kee^p moving so we wound another street and realized that he was guarding the street crossing like a goddamned toll bridge troll. Crazy fucker. We continued on our evening stroll and found our way to bed safely.
Full day no. 1: On this day we woke up rather early and went to the Rijksmuseum, which featured sweet Dutch paintings and other shits, the Van Gogh Museum, which you can assume about, and the Heinekein Brewery Experience, which was really three free drinks and a sweet bottle opener. The tour was controversial, liked by some and deemed shitty by me. After this packed morning, we had lunch. After that we went to the sex museum, which wasn't all that exciting. We went back to the hostel and napped, building strength for our trek into the Red Light District that evening (ominous music). After the nap we readied our raincoats cause it was raining. We hqd a shitty dinner in the hostel's bar and started walking. Whatever you pictured is probably true; there actually are girls in windows through which you see, from the street, a small room with a bed and a blacklight. It looks like a vending machine. Later on we went to bed.
Full day no. 2: On this day we took it easy waking up and ambled on down to the two block long line outside the Anne Frank House. Rob and I read Harry Potter. By this time Charlie was reading Huck Finn and David Breakfast of Champions. Anyway it felt really unproductive to just stand there on line for hours. It wasn't moving at all. So Charlie and I decided to go the train station to buy our tickets for the ride to Paris. We realized there that another long line was already in place. He and I waited for over an hour (Charlie met and spoke with a girl going to Middlebury) and missed the A.F. House. Rob and David did go and thought it a meaningful experience. Anyway after this, we got a kebab lunch and headed towards Nemo, which I thought was a science museum but turned out to be a fucking kiddies playground. I thought it sucked. The rest enjoyed themselves interacting with experiments and other random shit. They had the time of their lives. In one experiment they kicked the shit out of some kids in a hydroenergy race. "IT WAS AWESOME!!!" After Nemo we split. They went to Stedelijkmuseum and I went to the Koninklijk Palace, which unfortunately I found to be closed. When Charlie Rob and David saw the signs at the museum with Picasso, Kandinsky, and the other big players crossed out, we thought it was a cool artsy poster. Turns out their permanent collection was not on display, so we only saw very contemporary art, that made no sense. It was hard to be impressed by a room filled with TV screens only showing monotone colors.
We met up back at the hostel. Danny and David wrote a postcard to Goldberg. Then we went out and found some dinner on a very quiet and secluded street in a lovely residential area. We sat for at long time kickin back and reflecting. We went back to the hostel and played lots of pool at the bar.
The next day we took our train to Paris. By now the weather has become nice and springy and there is sometime a breeze. It's more pleasant at present.
We arrived at our hostel in Paris, which in actuality is a "no star hotel". At check in, our receptionist informed us in very broken english and french that our four bed room was a room with two double beds. We argued for a while but he claimed that this was clear on hostelworld.com. Bullshit. We went to the room, and saw that it was really on double bed and one single. We argued a lot more with the guy, who was immensely retarted and pugnacious. This man is a lively copy of Mr. Win from Hey Arnold (move it football head). Does anyone get the "this is not my lint" reference now? In the end he agreed to "do us a favor" and gave us an extra mattress for the floor, so we switch off pairing in the double bed.
Anyway our first evening in Paris was quiet. We walked around the Ile de la Cite and the Latin Quarter, where we had dinner. Then we sat and chilled out at a hookah bar.
On our first full day (yesterday), we went on an ambitious walking tour of Paris. Danny led us through the Marais, our neighborhood where we stay, the Palais Royal, the Louvre (but we didn't go in), up the Champs Elysees and up to Arc de Triumph for a dank view. Then down Avenue de la Grande Armee where we walked down Rue des Acacias and Danny showed us his old apartment building, and then down Rue Colonel Mol, where his elementary school still stands. We had images of little Danny walking home and buying his Kinder Egg at the boulangerie. He showed us where his best friends used to live. We had lunch at the Place St. Ferdinand (food here is crazy expensive but good), and walked on to the Trocadero and under the Eiffel Tower. During this we stopped at the churches St. Eustache and the Madeleine. After the Eiffel Tower and the adjacent gardens we split up; Danny went to the Hotel des Invalides to see Napoleon's tomb and the rest went to the Musee D'Orsay for an impressionist exhibition. Danny also read in the Jardin du Luxembourg for some time. Both parties enjoyed very much and met up on the Ile de la Cite. We walked back to the hostel and some dudes showered while I (Danny) finished Harry Potter. It's the ballsack. Later on we had dinner, and went on a long quest for a bar with pool, or billiards. We walked a while to Quigley's Point, an Irish pub, only to find out that their table was broken. Blast! We had a drink and walked on to McBrides, another Irish pub, that had a pool table with the resident pool-playing badass, Mac. Luckily a girl beat him, Charlie beat the girl that beat Mac, Rob beat Charlie who beat the girl, but then got beat himself, by Alex. It was close. We went to bed.
This morning, we've only done this so far, but intend to actually go in the Louvre, St. Chappelle, Angelinas for hot chocolate, then go up to Monmartre, and eventually meet up with Danny's friend Alexandre.
We hope you continue to enjoy whatever you're doing, and we'll be home soon (some of us) to give you the real version of what went down (hint: museum means crack rocks).
Screamin Bob, your comments are dank!!
Tara and Jenny, thanks for the survival kit, it has now come in handy and we have proof.
Last but not least, there are still some of you woh we know are reading but still have not commented. This is probably our last post as the four of us, so make the best of it.
Anyway take it easy and stay in touch however you can
Team America